Why Some People Instantly Feel Magnetic

Charisma is not hidden in the worldly smarts, the quick wits or the gift of the gab. You don’t have to wish for the talent of SRK, the genius of Ratan Tata, or the grace of Dalai Lama.

According to Olivia Fox Cabane, author of the book The Charisma Myth, charisma is a set of behaviours and mindsets anyone can develop.

Benjamin Disraeli was a 19^th Century politician and former Prime Minister of the UK. Considered as one of the most charismatic people of his time, the quote above illustrates how charismatic people make YOU feel smart, seen and special.

“When I left the dining room after sitting next to Mr. Gladstone, I thought he was the cleverest man in England. But when I sat next to Mr. Disraeli, I left feeling that I was the cleverest woman in England.” - Lady Churchill (Mother of Winston Churchill)

Practice at home

Practice building these 3 qualities below and make the other person in any conversation, introduction, speech, presentation, etc. feel spoken to.

1. PRESENCE

Practice being fully present in the moment with those you are interacting with. Simple things, such as angling your body in their direction, listening intently to what they are saying, and being attentive, go a long way. People will feel valued and important when you are truly present with them.

2. POWER

Power here refers to competence - your ability to show you are grounded, confident and capable. This is primarily conveyed through body language, tone of voice and decisiveness. When distress strikes (uncertain moments in conversations or distractions during speeches), the way you coolly and collectively handle it, shows power.

“In one of the workshops, one participant carried a skeptical look on their face. I felt like I was under scrutiny and would be judged for my ability to satisfy their expectation. Though it was hard to ignore this, I tried to not let it move me. I stayed convinced in the value of my content and continued with the flow of the workshop. Towards the end, I was delighted to see that the same participant left smilingly.” - Nasir. Founder, Flutr

3. WARMTH

Every person’s biggest concern is safety - how safe are they (physically and emotionally) when they interact with you. Your ability to be warm is extremely crucial. Being understanding, humorous, showing emotional intelligence, and being non-judgmental are excellent ways to build comfort and trust around you. People will lean in to those people who make them feel safe.