The Best Icebreaker Is Already There

In 2014, I was hooked onto Breaking Bad — terrific storytelling, incredible cinematography and evocative characters. Once I finished the series, I scribbled down a list: 5 lessons I learnt from Breaking Bad.

No, it didn't have anything to do with chemistry, crime or ambition. It was about noticing details.

Throughout the show, Walter White is shown sitting alone with his thoughts. In one particular scene, he's by the pool, trying to figure out his next move. One that is crucial to save his life. Deep in thought, he spins his black revolver on the table beside him — casually, almost absent-mindedly. Once the gun comes to a stop, it points at a potted plant in his backyard, whose seeds are highly toxic to humans.

Eureka! He got his answer!

The answer wasn't hidden. It was sitting in plain sight. What changed was his ability to notice it.

I realized that that same principle applies to conversations. Most people think good conversations begin with clever icebreakers. They search for the perfect opening line. They rehearse what they'll say and then worry about how they'll come across.

But in my experience, the best icebreaker is usually already there.

• It could be sitting on a table.

• It could be hanging on a wall.

• It might be in the way someone stands.

• Or happening right in front of you.

What Most People Miss

When you spend time without distractions, it sharpens your attention. You can see little things that you didn't before.

• The edge of your table is chipped

• A yesteryear artist poster on the wall

• Someone stands with one foot pointing outwards

• Someone's smile arrives a second too late.

These are small things. But they carry information. The ability to stop, pause and notice things is underrated. It's a skill that helps you solve problems, discover ideas and most importantly start better conversations.

People think they run out of things to say because they aren't interesting enough. Actually, it's because they aren't observing enough. The room is usually offering multiple conversation starters. We're simply not noticing them.

The ability to stop, pause and notice things is underrated. It is a skill that will help you problem-solve, find creativity and make conversations engaging.

The Conversation Advantage

You're an entrepreneur. You're about to meet your first potential client. It's a crucial meeting for you.

In the waiting room, you are along with your thoughts. This meeting could make or break the months of effort you put into your idea.

As you mentally go over your pitch, almost absent-mindedly, you start noticing the room around you. You see business magazines, flower pots, an open window and a poster of the movie Rang De Basanti.

You enter the room. The client's face feels tired and uninterested — as if attending to people like you is an everyday affair for him.

Before starting the pitch, you can't help but bring up the poster. "Don't mind me asking but I saw a poster of Rang De Basanti outside. Are you a fan of the movie?"

The client's face lights up immediately. "Yes. I am," he says. Smilingly, you say "Me too. It is my all time favourite movie. Seen it a hundred times."

"I not only am a fan of the movie but I played an extra in it," says the client with pride in his voice.

You are now awestruck. Your jaw is hanging open.

The conversation instantly takes off. Both you and the client are lost in an uninterrupted banter about movies, which leads to stories and further leads to laughter and a connection.

By the time you begin your pitch, the energy in the room has completely changed. You get the deal. This didn't happen because you had a clever opening line. It's because you paid attention to the details in the room.

The Difference Was Attention

Walter White found his answer because he paid attention and noticed the small detail. The entrepreneur found his opening because he paid attention and noticed the small detail.

The answer is often already in the room.

In both situations, the opportunity was already there. Most people assume better communication comes from knowing what to say. But knowing what to say is often hidden in plain sight — in the small things people overlook.

A quirky coaster. A photograph on the desk. A movie poster on the wall. A smile that came out of nowhere.

These details seem insignificant until they aren't.

The next time you're feeling stuck, resist the urge to think of something clever. Instead, look around. Notice something. Get curious about it.

Your best icebreaker is already there.