Why Good Communicators Don't Rush

The Mistake Most Of Us Make

You’re having a conversation with someone new. It feels good. You are both attentive, responding positively and genuinely curious of one another. There's laughter, curiosity and flow.  

But then, arrives a moment of silence.

Here’s the mistake most of us make — we panic, rushing to fill it instantly.

To fill that silent moment, you frantically search for something to talk about. Maybe its your issues at work, your dreams, or pains of life. Or you ask a question that feels forced - “What is your retirement plan?”

You think filling up the space fast and keeping them talking will get them more invested in you. But it won’t.

Trying hard to make conversation when it has naturally winded down is a turn off. It subtly signals desperation. By doing that you are saying ‘Please don’t lose interest in me.'

The Alternative Ending

You’re having a conversation with someone new. It feels good. As soon as you share a positive emotional moment with the person — like a laugh — you take a pause and stop talking.

The weight of that moment sinks in. If you are nervous about the pause, it will feel awkward. But if you can confidently hold the pause, your conversation will mature. The other person will experience the same.

Why Not Rushing Works

In the above scenario, you let the silent moment play itself out. Either your listener will continue the conversation without your prompt — which is ideal — or you can take ownership and conclude the conversation by saying “I really enjoyed speaking to you. I'd love to catch up with you later.”

When you don't rush, it shows a quality many people severely lack — giving space.

By giving space you make room for your listener to soak in the moment. And that is likely to make their interaction with you memorable.

Why Is Giving Space So Hard To Do:

1. Issues with silence

   Most of us are not comfortable with silence. No one really teaches us how to sit with it. In a fast-moving city like Mumbai, stillness almost feels unnatural. There is constant stimulation, movement and noise. So when a quiet moment appears in a conversation, we rush to fill it.

   
   

   Sometimes our own restlessness becomes too overwhelming. Sometimes it is the other person’s. So we keep speaking.

   
   

   And that is where conversations begin to feel rushed, inorganic and forced. Our environment conditions us to constantly react instead of pause and take things in.

   
   

2. False way to build rapport 

   We assume that if we stop talking, the connection will weaken. But rapport is not built through constant talking. It is built through emotional comfort.
   

   And comfort requires space. Space allows the other person to pause, absorb the moment and feel your presence without pressure. That pause adds depth to the interaction.

What Giving Space In A Conversation Says About You:

1. It magnifies your ability to be okay with silence.

2. It reveals your strength to wait and give something room and time to grow.

3. It shows you can live confidently without being dependent on people’s attention.

All these are admirable qualities that make you stand out.

Practice exercises:

1. Try this while texting. Next time you want to talk to someone you like, don't rush to text them. Allow the space of a few days before you reach out again.

2. Practice concluding conversations. For example: If there was a shared moment of laughter, let it sink in and gradually conclude after that. They’ll associate you with that positive feeling.